Our T-shirts will fit you perfectly. How well do you fit with us?
We can laugh at ourselves, and we expect adults to be able to join us as we laugh at them.
We work a 40 hour week for a living.
We're tired of people thinking that they know better than we do, when we know better than that.
We grew up drinking from a garden hose.
We played outside.
We listen to old Alabama, Charlie Daniels, and Aaron Tippin.
We wish there was a better answer to the Opossum's question of "Who's gonna fill their shoes?"
We salute the flag, and we issue the "Italian salute" to both the Government and the Media.
We know what gender we are, and we don't care what color you are.
We believe that freedom is the opposite of victimhood, and that it's worth dying for.
Our eyes leak a little (because we don't cry) when we hear "Cowboy's Hat" by Chris Ledoux, and we find our fists shaking in the air at the end of "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by Toby Keith.
Polls don't ask, know, or want to know what we think, and we don't get selected for juries.
We keep our noses clean and don't fear getting our hands dirty.
Many people shy away from us, but those who make friends with us never regret it.
You can't piss on our heads and tell us it's raining.
We know that there's only been one Man who walked on water, and we ain't Him.
We take care of our own, and those we respect do the same.
We think for ourselves, and we openly mock (or at least roll our eyes at) entertainment celebrities telling us what to think or who to vote for.
We can scream at one another over a college football game, and then give the shirt off our back to help a neighbor in need.
We agree that "it takes a village," but we expect to be able to pick the village.
We aren't interested in getting advice about how to run our lives from strangers whose lives are a slow-motion train wreck. We have in-laws for that.